Life as I see it



I don’t really have a lot of subscribers – and the ones I do have don’t tend to comment, or post likes or dislikes.  It probably means I’m a lukewarm writer at best.  One person, though, seems to have read a lot of my posts and approved at least some of them … I’ve been to her site and she seems to be be dealing with a lot of the same issues that people around me are dealing with (my own issues are pretty weird, in comparison – probably because I’m a pretty weird person, while she seems to be a more normal, if very sensitive person.)

I don’t know if she’ll approve, but I wanted to recommend her blog, the content of which may be somewhat evident from its name:

I haven’t read it all, but the blog deals with the consequences of love in modern America – and how something as pure and simple as love can get tangled in the expectations of society, the realities of economics, and the absolute contrariness of human beings. In response to a “like” she posted reading one of my posts, I wrote her a letter, which I’d like to share with you all.

“I don’t really know what to call you … from time to time, WordPress tells me you like one article or another of my blog, … I appreciate your appreciation, and wish there was some way I could ease your obvious pain!  I haven’t read through your whole blog, yet:  my own problems make it difficult for me to read through sad issues.  I’ve decided I NEED to read it though, because you seem like someone I’d like to know more about!

I hate that you’re in pain. Really. And I love that you’re in pain. Really.  The reason? Only the dead are without pain – and yours marks you as alive in ways that most people simply cannot comprehend!
Many, if not most, people go through their days like zombies … they just go through the motions. Their pains amount to “damn I got a traffic ticket!” “Here comes another fight with that bastard I married!”  Despite all this, they see no need to change … they see this as the normal fate of human beings! “That’s life.” they say, and shrug.
Ask them about true love, and they’ll claim, cynically, that either it’s a manufactured artifact of Hollywood, or is so rare you can go your whole life without meeting a couple like that.
So they don’t look.  They assume that everyone’s life is shit, so why even try for anything better? There is a certain practicality among men:  they assume that if something can’t be attained, there’s no point even considering it. Women, on the other hand, are creatures of hope:  they may not believe Prince Charming is coming for them, but somewhere, in the deepest recesses of their hearts, the hope he will!
Someone who understands. Someone who cares. Someone who can stand between you and the dark. Someone designed specifically to meet your needs, and make you happy …
My own outlook is very feminine. I believe somewhere deep in my heart that I have a soulmate!  She’s out there! Just waiting for that magic moment when we’ll recognize one another from across a room. My awkwardness with women will fall away, I’ll achieve a boldness I’ve never felt in my life. I’ll head straight for her, introduce myself, declare that I’ve never seen eyes like hers, that I felt an immediate attraction, and that she absolutely MUST let me have the next dance!
Later in the evening, I’ll probably demand to know where the hell she’s been all my life and doesn’t she have ANY idea what I’ve suffered waiting for her?!?!
Things will likely devolve from there.
There isn’t a perfect existence:  we aren’t born perfect, we don’t attain perfection, so how can there be? We can, however do two things:  notice the patterns around us, and choose paths that will lead us out of misery!  There are a few rules, that might help. You’re going to hate hearing them, but here they are:
People who are that convinced that they are at the center of the universe don’t see any REASON to change.  It’s the WORLD that owes them! The WORLD that ought to mold itself to make their lives better. Husband, wife, whatever – that person’s only love is himself (I use the male pronoun because this is almost always a man.) Such a person WILL NEVER return your love – and pouring your love into him is pouring it into a black hole!
*  Such people can seldom hold a job.
They have a sense of entitlement:  a feeling that they shouldn’t HAVE to work – their wants should be provided for them, gratis. They typically get married so as to soak off their wife.  Money that could go toward retirement, of improving your lifestyle, or caring for the kids, goes to taking care of him – because he won’t be bringing in much, and will often claim to have been fired (when he’s usually quit.)  If the wife leaves, they’ll move in with relatives, and soak off them, If the relative kicks them out, they’ll find a girlfriend (probably had one all along, just waiting for his use).
*  Such people – quite subconsciously – target and use sympathetic people.
If asked, they’d deny it vociferously. A single glimpse of their pattern reveals it, though:  they find generous, caring, loving, kind-hearted people. Over, and over, and over.  The flip side of the coin is there too:  there is something about such men that the women I just described find intensely appealing. Take a good look at their past boyfriends, or husbands:  they are all the same. All will be self-centered, selfish, usually possessive, and jealous.
I guess what I’m saying is that such men are utter bastards.  I guess I’m also saying the women they prey on are born victims.  The Bastards see no REASON to change who and what they are – the victims have AMPLE reason, but can’t seem to make that choice … can’t seem to recognize that the creature they’re involved with isn’t who they wanted him to be, and never will be.
And when they leave one, they go find another. Not another man who will treat them well, another of the exact SAME kind of man they just left!
I really don’t know why I’m writing to you, except I think maybe you’re beginning to see these same patterns – and the infinite misery these behaviors cause.
I hope you’ll be well. I hope you’ll choose to walk away from pain.  I hope you’ll find what it is you need, because I swear to God I believe there’s someone out there who’s decent, and kind-hearted, and suffering from loneliness. Someone you’d be perfect for – if only you’ll take the steps to make him perfect for you.  You can’t find a dolphin, if you’re chumming for sharks.
Best wishes!
Scott Davis
Oxford, MS”
I hope ‘Being.Her’  won’t object to my sharing her letter … if she does, and writes to me, I’ll delete it.  I hope she won’t, though:  there are things in it that I believe some woman would be the better for reading!

~ by dourscot on December 5, 2016.

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