I ran out of cat food this morning.

I get up early enough that I can make a run to Walmart, if need be, and still arrive at work with time to spare.  I’ve foolishly started feeding the little family of cats that lives outside my house, and they’d gotten used to it enough that I could see their little eyes glowing from the bushes, as I walked by their bowl without filling it.

I actually explained to them that I’d be right back, just had to run to Walmart for their food.  Sheesh.

I got in the car, and headed out of my neighborhood via the road that would blend best with the morning rush. At the stop sign, was a HUGE expensive SUV.  I couldn’t tell who was driving it, but I’d been behind the damed thing before, and whoever the driver was seems TOTALLY incapable of judging when a gap in the traffic would allow him/her/it to turn right. I waited. And waited. And WAITED, as one gap after another came and went.

Eventually, when the road was entirely clear in both directions, the damned thing pulled out at a snail’s pace … like I said, I’d been stuck behind this person before, and I knew if I followed I’d be absolutely BOILING with road rage when it took us 15 minutes to drive the one mile to the University.  So I turned the other direction. I could get to the Highway that way. It might be a longer distance, but it would be quicker than driving behind pokey.

I hit the stop light.  Ordinarily, I’d always been lucky enough to avoid it, but not this time.

When it turned green, I had a whole blessed stretch of road to myself, clear to the entry to the highway.  I don’t speed – but I DO drive at the speed limit, so I got on the entry ramp fairly quickly, only to find myself behind yet ANOTHER person totally incapable of handling the decision of whether it’s safe to enter the highway.  The idiot had a clear lane, as all the drivers on the road had courteously shifted to the far lane, but THIS idiot came to a complete freaking stop at the YIELD sign!

I shouted “For God’s sake will you just GO!”

It didn’t do any good, because my windows were up and so were his. Eventually there was a long stretch of both lanes being empty, and the jerk timidly eased out into the highway – at 30 miles per hour.  I roared around him into the far lane, letting the screech of my tires express my frustration.

No more problems. Got to Walmart, got my cat food, used the self check -out, got back into my car, and was able to get back home without incident. The feral cats were out in the driveway and fled at the sight of me, but I got out of the car, filled their bowls, chucked the bag inside my house, and returned to the car.

At the stop sign, there was another, completely different, trendy, expensive SUV, with a driver who probably COULD make a decision – if she weren’t so busy texting.  She had her phone held against the upper rim of her steering wheel … would type something while a big gap in traffic went by, then look up and see that traffic was solid again, and would type something else.

I backed up, pulled into a neighbors driveway, turned around and headed for the OTHER way out of my neighborhood.  This time, my escape was clean, and I headed for the University, where I work. There were police at the intersections directing traffic, which was cool, because things always went smoothly when someone OTHER than timid, texting, assholes unable to make a decision, was directing things.  The direct path to my building has been built over, don’t ask me why, so I had the choice of going a long way around in one direction, or a shorter path in the other direction – that led through a parking lot. Without pausing to think of what this meant, I made for the latter path.

At the parking lot, I found two cars just crawling along, looking for parking places that were manifestly not there.  When they, at length, came to a space with LOTS of open parking places, one slowly and carefully parked, leaving two spaces clear on either side of him, then IMMEDIATELY popped his door open.  The car behind him, had already started to crawl toward the space to his left, but stopped when she saw the open door.  A long moment passed as the parked idiot fished around in his back seat for a brief case, and the OTHER idiot patiently awaited him.  Eventually, as the first guy showed no signs of ending his back-seat quest, the second person decided “Hey, maybe I could park in one of the many spaces on the OTHER side of him!”

As she began to edge forward, the person behind me, with a roar of the engine made to pull around us both, only to stop with a screech as she began her turn to the left. The screech rattled her, and she stared at him for a long second before resuming her slow, stately turn to park. I looked at the impatient kid to my left, and he glanced at me, then took a longer glance, and apparently my face reflected something of the morning’s frustrations, because he gestured for me to precede him.

I left quite a bit of rubber behind me to testify to my utter lack of appreciation for all three of the freaking idiots.

I feel at this time, that I should point out, gentle reader, that it took me HALF A FUCKING HOUR TO DRIVE THE ONE MILE TO MY OFFICE!!!!!!!

I’m not an impatient man. I’m not. I am, however, someone who has no patience with drivers who are too timid to operate their vehicles, drivers who can’t make a simple go/no-go decision, drivers who’d rather text than operate their vehicle, drivers who can’t distinguish between a YIELD sign and a STOP sign, or drivers who look at a wealth of empty parking spots and need time to decide, “which one will I park in???”

Sadly, such drivers, even if they are a minority, seem to cause a majority of problems, not to mention triggering my migraines.  Thanks a lot.


~ by dourscot on October 21, 2016.

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