A Bad Day

Depression. Deep and dark. It’s seldom this bad … maybe once or twice a year – but when it happens, it’s agony. Over the years I’ve developed strategies … little things that can help lighten the mood. One of them is to buy some little something – a movie, a game, a book, an objet d’art … something I can take a little pleasure in.

I headed to Walmart, with nothing specific in mind … walking the aisles, I came across the posters – one was a beautiful map of Middle-Earth. I’ve got plans to renovate my computer-room – I’ve often thought of putting maps on the walls, so this seemed like a good thing to buy …

Except it wasn’t there.

Throttle back the disappointment, and back to the hunt.  I passed the candles and incense, and remembered a Dragon-shaped incense burner that I’d admired back when I was too broke to afford trivialities …

It wasn’t there anymore.

Looked throughout the books for a title I’d been wanting. Not there. Looked through the movies for one I’d heard about. Not there. Looked for a TV series I’d become interested in on DVD. Not there. Looked through the games for one I wanted. Not there …

I fight my depressions. I don’t give in to them – I don’t surrender.

But sometimes I’m defeated.


~ by dourscot on December 18, 2014.

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