The Leibster Award

A recent reader of my blog has nominated it for the Leibster Award … I’ve never heard of the thing, before, but she seems nice, and did not appear to be pissed off at anything I wrote, so I’m going to assume it’s highly prestigious, and strut around self-importantly for a bit …

But I haven’t won it yet: there are questions which must be answered, presumably to give the judge a better handle on who really deserves a good Leibstering.  In keeping with the official rules, therefore, I will submit the following answers to the required questions:

1.  What is the answer to the great question of Life, the Universe, and Everything?

42.  Alternatively, if one can interpret the smile of a little girl with a puppy, the scowl of an old man deprived of his newspaper, the lilting steps of lovers in love, Spock’s raised eyebrow, and the beauty of the dawn in Hawaii, integrated with God’s love for the world, Satan’s jealousy of Man, and the delightfulness of a bowl of chicken soup on a chilly day, one might get a slightly better approximation.

2.  In your opinion, is the climbing hydrangea or the bougainvillea more evil?

The Bougainvillea, clearly:  not only do some varieties have pink flowers (and pink is the most hated of all colors), they have LOTS of them, and even a little is just too damned much!

3.  Can you hula-hoop?

can, certainly – though I can’t imagine why I’d do such a thing …

4.  Even if you could hula-hoop, why the heck would you want to?

The Hula-hoop gets its name from the fact that it can be used to learn the basics of Tahitian dance. This is not something I’ve ever wanted to do, even if I had not already received an official request from the entire western Hemisphere, begging me to NOT get mostly nekkid and do the Tahitian.

5.  What’s the magic word?

There are many, actually:  my favorite is bizarre … say it a few times … nothing rolls off the tongue quite so nicely! Obviously, though, you’d want to do this in private, as standing around in public pronouncing bizarre is likely to be considered … well, bizarre.

6.  Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, or Spock?

Lizard. Lizards are awesome and beat all other combinations. If I were God, I’d get entirely rid of Earth, and start over with the entire planet populated by lizards. Big green ones.

7.  What sort of punishment should a blogger be subjected to, who recycles his or her old ideas and just hopes against hope that no one will notice?

That would involve someone going back and carefully reading each and every post of his blog … having done something that stokes his ego that much, I can’t imagine any punishment would be effective …

8.  If I gave you a bucket of water balloons and let you loose, who would you splosh first, and why?

My beautiful young room-mate, Kayla.  It’s the only way she’d ever enter a wet T-shirt contest – and I guarantee, she’d win.

9.  What is the first thing that pops into your head when you cross your eyes, stick out your tongue, and hop up and down on one foot?

“Holy shit this must look stupid!!!”

10.  What is your superpower?

Procrastination. I’ll demonstrate later.

11.  Do you have a secret identity?

Ummm, there’s a reason it’s called SECRET, you know?


~ by dourscot on March 11, 2013.

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