Psychotic …

calm

Ok, well, last night I pretty well went nuts for a while.

If you’ve been following this blog, you’ll know that my room-mate/best friend has a new boyfriend – and this one, it turns out, is the real deal.  That’s been scaring the piss out of me, because I’ve never had a friend like Kayla, and the thought of her being gone from my life is just heart-rending …

I’m sure you’re rolling your eyes and thinking that’s stupid:  people fall in love, get married, get crazy about someone all the time, and they don’t give up their friends, right?

Neither Kayla nor I are that way. We don’t do things by halves. We don’t love lots of people. She truly is in love, and she will dedicate her life to him!  Oh, she’ll still love me, too, but I really won’t be seeing her very much anymore, because she’ll always want to be with him … the only times that she’ll care to be around me, will be when she’s physically unable to be with him …

That’s just the way she is, and I can’t blame her for a minute, because it’s the way I am, too!

If I found the woman of my dreams, I’d be with her any time I could, and any time I couldn’t, I’d be miserable. I might go to see Kay in my misery, but even then, I’d be wanting to be somewhere else.  As much as I love Kayla (and that’s a lot), it’s a love of friendship, and it wouldn’t even begin to compete with a genuine love of the heart!

Kay’s the same way. And she’s found a love of the heart.

It hurts because I don’t have any other friends:  I’ve been lonely and miserable all my life until I met her, and it’s very hard to see my life suddenly doing a big turn-around, in my old age. That’s pretty much the heart of it. And I don’t see any solution:  I’ll just have to deal with it, and be happy for her …

If there’s a nice-looking woman out there looking for a miserable old fat bald guy to give her love to, I’d really appreciate a call. Soon.

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~ by dourscot on March 5, 2013.

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