Why I’m sorry for Rick Perry’s Gaffe

Don’t get me wrong:  I’m not sorry Governor Perry made a fool of himself.  For that matter, I don’t really mind when ANY Far-Right-Wing Republican and/or their Ultra-Far-Right-Wing Tea Party associates show themselves for the unthinking idiots that they are.

What I DO feel bad about is that the now-infamous “oops” moment focused attention on what was, let’s face it, a fairly common phenomenon for ANY middle-aged person, and AWAY from the true idiocy of his policies!

I mean, seriously, anyone over the age of 35 (the Constitutionally-mandated MINIMUM age to run for President) has experienced such a moment!  In this particular case, the dude was on a stage, with a bunch of people eager to cut him off at the knees, in front of a panel of journalists ready to pick apart anything he said in the most minute detail, on National Television, with the fate of his Presidential candidacy at stake… a decidedly high-pressure moment, and if he’d started the thing out with saying “Frankly, folks, I’m a little nervous — in fact, at this moment, I couldn’t tell you WHERE THE HELL my car is parked!”  everyone but the most rabid Far-Left-Wing critic would have laughed sympathetically…

(Ok, not strictly true:  many of his Ultra-Far-Right Wing colleagues would have been scandalized that he used the word ‘hell’ in a non-condemnatory fashion … but apart from THEM, my statement stands.)

(True, later on, many would have said things along the lines of “You want to be President when you can’t even remember where you freaking PARKED???”, conveniently forgetting all the times THEY’VE come out of the mall and wandered the parking lot in increasing dismay…  As for the Far- and Ultra-Far-Left-Wing types, it’s true that they would rip him to shreds even if all he did was admit that he’d had trouble picking out a tie for the evening… That part is simply fated-to-be.)

It’s true, it doesn’t look good that the guy doesn’t handle pressure well:  President of the United States is a fairly stressful job, after all. It’s true that it doesn’t look good that something he purports to be essential for the well-being of America, something he claims to passionately believe in, something that he claims he’s given deep thought to, can slip his mind so easily.  It’s also true that it doesn’t bode particularly well for the dignity of the Presidency that the man has trouble talking on his feet (“On behalf of the American People, I greet you, Your Majesty! I hope your son, Prince… er… uh… wow, the one, you know, who was married to Lady Die, er, um, I mean Diana, before she, you know, divorced him, and, er…”)

None of that really matters, though, and ALL of it is unfortunate, because it focuses attention on the undeniable (Perry is a doofus), when our attention OUGHT to be focused on the DEBATABLE! (Because Perry isn’t the only Republican who’s proposed this sort of thing.)

Like the policy he was advocating:  eliminating whole departments of the Federal Government (we’ll table, for now, the fact that he couldn’t remember the third Department he was so eager to cut – seriously, what does it matter? If he actually made it into a position where he could cut ANY Departments at all, you can be assured he wouldn’t have stopped at just 3!)

It’s interesting to note that the Official website of his campaign (www.rickperry.org) features only a Logo, a HUGE picture of the Governor, boxes for sign-up, and the single phrase “It’s time to get America working again.”

That’s all:  “It’s time to get America working again.”

So he plans to eliminate the Departments of COMMERCE, EDUCATION, (and…er…uh…)

Ok, we’re gonna skip over the exact number of PEOPLE, Governor Perry intends to LAY OFF, as part of this plan (because OBVIOUSLY, the best way to get America working again is to make several thousand more unemployed Americans), and skip right to, “just what the heck do these Departments DO, and how will it help to get rid of them?”

Here’s the overview posted on the Department of Commerce’s Site:

“The Commerce Department’s mission is to help make American businesses more innovative at home and more competitive abroad. Comprised of 12 different agencies responsible for everything from weather forecasts to patent protection, the Commerce Department touches the lives of Americans every day.”

Let’s reduce that to Everybody-Speak:  “The DoC exists to keep you from being CHEATED” … here’s what some of those Agencies do for America:

– Census:  The Census Bureau is there to keep track of how many Americans there are. Why? Because the CONSTITUTION says that seats in the House of Representatives will be allocated according to how many people live in a given area… Why does this matter? Because the  1 million people living in Rhode Island shouldn’t have as much weight in making Federal Laws as the 25 Million living in Governor Perry’s home state of Texas.

– Economics and Statistics Administration … these guys are there to provide the raw numbers for planning:  they don’t set Economic policy (that’s done by the Administration, and the Congress), they just provide the numbers to base planning on. Why?  Ok, simple example: TITANIC!  The ship sailed with 2,223 souls on board, and Lifeboats for 1,178 … the designers planned for and installed davits to hold 64 Lifeboats, enough space for 4,000 people – the executives responsible for funding the Ship’s outfitting decided that 16 boats ought to be plenty. See:  Raw numbers produce workable plan, which is then sabotaged by greedy/stupid executives.  Hmm… “greedy” … “stupid” … who does that remind me of? Result: 1,517 DEAD. As a door-nail.

– National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. NOAA. These are the guys who tell us when HURRICANES, and TORNADOS, and BLIZZARDS, and FLOODS are coming. And wow, none of those EVER bothers TEXAS, right??? Wait… hmmm … Tornados…yeah, those happen there… and Hurricanes, yep, them too, and floods, and blizz – aw, never mind, dude probably didn’t REALLY mean to get rid of the WEATHER GUYS, right???

– Patent and Trademark Office.  Well, gee… who really needs one? I mean, sure a lot of shit gets invented in the U.S. (for most of this country’s history, that was kind of our thing), but does the inventor REALLY deserve to be protected from someone else coming along and scarfing up his years of patient development, for nothing, and turning out gizmo’s for enormous freaking profit?  And not just gizmos! Medicine, company names, logos … I mean, do you REALLY care if those cool looking jeans were REALLY made by Levi Strauss? No one would swipe that leather patch and logo they put over the right hip pocket, and slap it on a cheap sert of jeans and charge you what you’d expect to pay for Levis! Would they?

I could go on, and on, and on, but I’d be accused of going on, and on, and on, so lets go to the whole ‘nother Department Perry wants to get rid of:  the DoEd …

SERIOUSLY????  I mean, yeah, I know that the guy’s an ignorant jerk, but SERIOUSLY???? He wants to get rid of the agency that’s there to see to it that a kid in Appalachia is offered the same education as a kid in California???  Because stupider Americans is JUST what this country NEEDS of course! Just imagine, a whole country full of ignorant people who don’t know how to read, don’t know how to study up on an issue, and have NO FREAKING CHOICE BUT TO BELIEVE WHATEVER THEY HEAR ON FOX NEWS!!!!

Golly, WHY would Governor Perry, or ANY Republican, be in favor of — oh. Yeah. That’s why: ignorant people make ignorant choices. Republican landslide. Got it. Smart.

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~ by dourscot on November 14, 2011.

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